Log in

Sad world! - A girl's true heart [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

Sad world! [Mar. 26th, 2006|05:51 am]
[mood |worriedworried]
[music |Only the Lonely]

Hey everyone!
School is winding down and I feel like i'm not moving at a face enough pace. My schedule is so weird this semester its like tuesday and wednesday is the busiest day for me, but i'm pretty much free thursday and friday . However, I have enough homework to last me a lifetime. If theres one thing I have learned about nursing its that it is a stuggle. I mean you always learn something new, theres always different cases, different people and attitudes.
You never know whats going to happen that day, life is like a rollercoaster ride theres ups and downs. This semester I have felt my fair share of ups and downs. Its so weird i feel like i have a slight case of bipolar disorder, but its probably just normal. I have stress, but I also create it in my head. I mean aside from school thers alot i'm thinking about.
I still can't stop thinking about Hari, I mean its gotten better from before, but its still hard to get over. I mean it was great when we actually saw each other, but other than that he is one strange guy. I'm going to be treasurer of Circle K next year, which is going to be interesting. I hope I do a good job for the club, I've never taken that position before, so i'm going to try my best and i'm not that best at math but at least i have a calculator lol! I probably will take and exec. positon in IEC next year also. Those are two things that require quite a bit of dedication, but those are the two clubs i'm really passionate about other than CANS (Carroll Student Nurses Association). Its been fun this year, but I wonder if i'm having too much fun and not enough hardwork.
Sometimes I wish I was a natural genius like most of my cousins are. In all reality I know i'm smart but in a different kind of way. I mean its takes me a while to understand a difficult concept, but I eventually can understand it. When it comes to pictures I have a good memory of that in my mind. Pictographic memory is something I have been using for the most part as a child.
I think the biggest problem i'm facing with myself this year is what have I got to offer? I'm not extremely smart, I definately have my strong sides. I'm definately not perfect , I mean I probably have more stupid moments than the average person. I mean the good things are that I am a nice person and I truly care about people and want to make an impact on their lives. I mean I know I have alot of things to improve about myself and I'm working on it as fast as I can, but is it enough? I just don't know! I'm honored to be in college at all, but theres so many disadvantages that I have.
Maybe someday I can answer these questions for myself. Sometimes all I want is to see my grandmother and know everything is ok. I mean there are a few people that care about me i'm sure, but I have a connection with her like no one else. I don't how long she has to live, but I hope I get to see her at least once before she dies. I just don't think its fair that everyone has seen her except me.

[User Picture]From: sakura_mars
2006-03-26 12:45 pm (UTC)
aww, I'm sorry about the hari thing, happy about the circle k thing (calculators are love) and hope you cheer up!

ya know, I think that you are a really smart person. maybe you're not an Instant Genius with a photographic memory, but you can handle pretty much anything and you're smart in real life, not just academically. I really don't think you have more stupid moments than the average person. And yeah, everyone has disadvantages, but seriously, yours aren't THAT bad. I mean, you're not LD or dislexic, so that's a relief, right? And at the end of the day, you have a pretty decent-sized family.

I think your parents would really understand if you told them how badly you want to see your grandmother. Maybe you can work it out as some sort of graduation present or Early graduation present.

Good luck! Chin up! Do your best!
(Reply) (Thread)